Tomorrow is the first Sunday with my husband as the pastor of our church. We have been in this rural area of Ohio for over 5 years now, but tomorrow will be different.
We are so excited! And so humbled that God would choose to use us in this way.
As the past few months have gone by, I have faced so many emotions. We knew this was coming since February and it took all that time for me to get ready for tomorrow. We also found out in April that our fourth sweet blessing is on the way. Enter emotions!
This past week, my husband’s precious father (who is a wonderful pastor) has been in ICU and we were fearful for his life for several days. He is still not well as we enter into tomorrow.
On the way home from the hospital, our transmission went out.
It’s been a roller coaster. All these things have overwhelmed me to the point of having nowhere to turn but to God.
Back to tomorrow: I’ve been wondering…What kind of pastor’s wife will I be? I look at so many other pastor’s wives around me. And I see how they look at a special meeting. They look together. They look calm. They look joyful. I don’t feel like I can do that.
One night just a few weeks ago, I was really wrestling over some things. I was thinking of the wonderful pastor’s wives I know, and how I am not like them. I can learn meekness from one. I can learn kindness from one. But when I learn from others, I compare myself to them, and I can’t measure up.
That night in my struggle, I fell on my knees and cried to the Lord! He heard me and wrapped His arms around me. I read in His Word. I honestly don’t remember what it what passage it was. But it was like He said, “I’m the only one you need to follow.”
In that moment, I realized that all that matters is seeking Him! If I were the only woman on the planet, what would God say about how I need to act? How I need to mother? How I need to minister?
It’s just me and God in this race. Not that I can’t learn from others around me. I can. I do. But I get so off-balance looking at others. I can’t look at others, and at God at the same time.
Precious mother, don’t compare yourself to any other mother. Compare yourself to God’s Word, and measure yourself by It! It’s the only yardstick that matters. God knows what your children and husband need. Seek Him about it! If you were the only mother on the planet, what kind of mother would He want you to be?
This goes for every area of life. Seek the Lord. His voice is the only one that matters.
My heart’s cry since that night has been the old hymn “I Need Thee Every Hour.” Because truly I do!
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
no tender voice like thine can peace afford.
I need thee every hour; stay thou nearby;
temptations lose their power when thou art nigh.
I need thee every hour, in joy or pain;
come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me thine indeed, thou blessed Son.
I need thee, O I need thee; every hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee.