living on pb & j

Ordinary moms living on Prayer, the Bible, and Jesus!

Own It!

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I remember when I first became paralyzed, I was SO self-conscious that I was in a wheelchair. Besides the obvious fact that I was sitting in a wheelchair, my clothes didn’t fit me right, my shoes would not stay on my feet, and spasms would knock my feet off off my footplate. My body shape was changing and I just felt so horribly awkward. I remember one time asking Jimmy for a bag to put over my head when we were in public. I was convinced that everyone was staring at me and seeing all my weaknesses!

It hit me one day that, short of a miracle, I could not change the fact that I was gong to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. So, I was going to own it. I would be the most attractive and best looking gal to work a wheelchair. At least, I would try. If people were going to stare, they might as well have something decent to look at. I amped up my clothing style, I changed my hair, and I learned to wear make-up better. (Thank you friends who helped me…you know who you are!)

I think that many times as wives and moms, we are so insecure that we are not the right wife or mommies. We are convinced that people are staring into our homes and evaluating how we are doing and making their check-list of all our deficiencies. Sometimes it can feel that all we are good at is burying our heads under our pillows and crying.

The world tells us hundreds of different ideas and approaches to our homes. If we are desire a Christ-like approach, you can feel the pressure that you are wrong and it will never work. There is almost a shame that you can feel to have a Christian home.

You know what I learned? I learned that there are a few rude people who stare at me because they are jerks, but mostly people watch because they are curious and because they care. They aren’t looking at me to analyze what my weaknesses are. They are watching to see the strength that has been found in spite of weakness,

The world is watching us to see something different and we get bogged down thinking they are analyzing our weaknesses. They are not. They are curious and hungry for something. Let’s own it ladies! Since they are watching, hold your heads up and give them something to look at!


Author: Alicia Reagan

In March of 2009, while expecting my 6th baby, I contracted Transverse Myelitis - a rare illness that left me paralyzed from my ribs down. It has changed my life in many horrible and wonderful ways. I love to talk about it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. It is always raw and real around here as I share my work in advocacy and accessibility, my heart for the spiritual lessons learned, my music that speaks my soul, and my love for my home and family. Welcome.

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