living on pb & j

Ordinary moms living on Prayer, the Bible, and Jesus!

I Am Not Scared Now

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A few days ago, we went through our typical bedtime routine. After pajama’s are on, teeth brushed, bedtime prayers and kisses are given, off they head to their beds. There is one little one I have who is always afraid of the slightest noises. “Mommy, can I crack my door?”, “Mommy, are you in your room?”, and “Mommy, did you hear that?” are common questions floating down the hallway in our house.

My husband has been finishing a building to put his personal office in outside of our house. This particular evening, he was out working late. As usual, all the kids were tucked in and heading to sleep…except one little unnamed child. I had went on to my bed to get comfy and I heard a light knock on my door. I said, “Who is it?” knowing all along which child it would be. She was weeping. I asked her to come in. “Mommy, for real, this time I hear lots of noises outside and I am SOOOO scared!!!” I grabbed her in my arms because she was shaking with fear. “Honey, don’t cry. You DO hear noises. It is Daddy. He is outside working on his office.”

She sat straight up, dried her tears, and said, “You mean Daddy is outside tonight?” “Yes”, I said. What she said next burnt deep into my soul. She said, “If Daddy is outside, then I am not afraid anymore.” She kissed me and went straight to sleep.

I immediately bowed my head and prayed that God would help me to make Him that real to my children. My precious, fearful daughter (much like her mother at times) was so afraid. The realization that her strong and brave Daddy, whom she adores, was keeping the night watch while she slept, comforted her soul and brought her peace. I want her to know, as she grows in her faith, that her Heavenly Father is watching over her and keeping her in His hands. It is a lesson that I need to remember!

Since that night, I have thought often of this story in our home. It brings a deep gratefulness to my heart and a prayer to my lips. “My Heavenly Father, I know You are watching out for me. I am not scared anymore.”

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Author: Alicia Reagan

In March of 2009, while expecting my 6th baby, I contracted Transverse Myelitis - a rare illness that left me paralyzed from my ribs down. It has changed my life in many horrible and wonderful ways. I love to talk about it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. It is always raw and real around here as I share my work in advocacy and accessibility, my heart for the spiritual lessons learned, my music that speaks my soul, and my love for my home and family. Welcome.

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