Last November, after we found out we were expecting, we began to pray for the child that was growing inside my womb. We prayed that our child would be born healthy and at the right time. My due date was August 9, 2016.
But God chose for our baby, a boy, to be born into Heaven sometime in March 2016. Our son, whom we named Nathaniel Michael, was born into Heaven perfectly healthy and at the right time -God’s time!
God’s answer to our prayer broke our hearts, but we know that God makes no mistakes!
It’s easy to read or hear of other people’s answers to prayer that are positive and feel as if God was unfair to us. Maybe you’ve been in one of the following scenarios:
Your test results came back and you have cancer.
Your doctor told you that you will never be able to bear children.
You prayed for safety for your spouse and they were killed in a terrible car accident.
You went to your 20 week ultrasound, only to find out that your baby had no heartbeat.
When we pray, we believe God will answer, but we rarely believe it will be a negative response, even if we are praying for God’s will.
It’s easy to wallow in self-pity when you are grieving, but even in the darkest valley, God’s presence gives you joy, peace and hope. Those things help you to go on.
Here are three things God’s heartbreaking answer to our prayer have taught me:
- God did this for His glory! This reason alone blows me away when I think about it. The fact that Almighty God would give me a child to carry for 20 weeks that He made to glorify Himself – such an amazing gift!
- John 9:3: “Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”
- God did this to bring others to Himself. My husband and I have been brought closer to Him though this, but even more importantly than that is the fact we had opportunities to witness to others – doctors, nurses, funeral home staff and florists. Once again, I’m blown away by the fact that God created this little life and gave him to me, though for a short time, to be used for Himself!
- II Corinthians 4:17-18: ” For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
- God did this to remind me to count my blessings – daily! In grief it’s easy to focus on what is lost and not what you already have. I have one ultrasound with a devastating outcome, but I have three others which are such sweet memories! When I focus on God’s daily blessings to me, I realize how truly rich I am in Christ!
- Ephesians 3:20: “Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,”
- Psalm 68:19: “Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.”
Although, I can’t spend life here on earth with Nathaniel, I get to spend eternity with him! God’s answer to my prayer, breaking my heart, was truly a gift, for it has drawn me closer to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ!