living on pb & j

Ordinary moms living on Prayer, the Bible, and Jesus!

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When Fears Are Bigger Than Mommies

We have a new scenario to an old problem in our home. Old problem = fear of something that always hits at bedtime. New scenario = It is Elisha’s turn. My sweet little 5 year old has a new fear. Is it the dark? Nope. Is is scary monsters? Nope. Is it burglars? Nope. Is it a fear that the house might catch on fire? Nope. If it were any of these, it wouldn’t be a new scenario because we have already been through these bedtime fears!

Elisha’s fear is floods. Yes, you read it right. Floods. We do not live near water, we do not get tons of rain here in South Carolina, and we have not been in a scary water situation. He saw a school book that showed pictures of
a flood that wiped out a town years ago and that is all it took. Thank God for history books! πŸ™‚

Every night right after he went to bed, he would come to us crying that he was scared. Now I am all over bed time manipulation but this boy was scared! He would shake all over. He would turn white as a ghost. He would cry in his sleep. Pure terror. I don’t know why the fear is so real in his little heart, but it is there!

One night we shared how it wasn’t even raining so it was okay. One night we talked to him about how far we were from any rivers or lakes and we were fine. One night we shared with him how dams and floods worked and that the town in the book was built right under a dam that wasn’t safe but we didn’t live in a town like that. He would say okay and calm down and next night he would be right back to us.

I knew at that point that his fears were bigger than Mommy and Daddy could handle and he needed Someone bigger than Mommy and Daddy. We have a song in our family that I have sang to my children since they have been tiny. It is based on Psalms 56:3 – “What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” The next night when he came out, I told him that sometimes no one can help you with your fears except Jesus and that Jesus is always with us….even when we are afraid. He crawled up into my lap and laid his head on my shoulder. I felt his hot tears against my cheek as I begin to sing to him.

“When I am afraid, I will trust in You, I will trust in You, I will trust in You,
When I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise.”

I felt his body calm down as we sang. When we were done singing, I prayed with him and asked Jesus to please lay beside him and snuggle him and help him to know that he is safe and loved. He hugged me and kissed me and ran off to bed.

I was anxious to know how he would be the next night. Sure enough, he got back up. But this time, he said, “Momma, I am thinking about that scary stuff. Will you sing our song and pray?”

“Yes son, I will.”

Every night we have a new routine. Hugs, kisses, bedtime prayers, song, more prayer….bedtime. Music is very calming to our little ones. Music is very calming to me! God’s Word is very calming. When you can put the truth of God’s to music, you have a powerful bedtime help! Now, Elisha sings with me word for word.

So far, we have had no floods. πŸ™‚ I know that my son will outgrow his fear of floods as all of my children have their unrealistic fears. My prayer as a mother is that my children never outgrow the comfort of God’s Word and talking to Jesus who loves them more than I ever could.

Here is a link to the song I have always sung to my children when they are afraid. True confession: there have been many bedtimes when I have been afraid about real life and I have sung this song to myself. Enjoy!

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Am I A Drunken Ant?


My son, Isaiah, told me the most interesting story this week that he learned in school. He told me about a certain kind of beetle called a bootleg beetle. It goes into an ant colony under the disguise of a smell they love. He carries a liquor on the hairs of his back and the ants quickly lap it up. As their desire for this beetle liquor takes over, they neglect the eggs that is under their care. While the ants get drunk, the beetles eat their eggs. Not only do they eat the eggs of the ants, they lay their own eggs in their place for the ants to care for. As the beetles hatch out, they take over the ant colony.

As Isaiah told me that story, I was enthralled! I had never heard of that insect! Then I looked over at my handsome, growing son and I was instantly sobered. This bootleg beetle…this tempting and intoxicating drink….is it in my home? Is it luring me away from protecting my young? Are my sons and daughters in danger because their mother is drunk? There are so many ways that I can become intoxicated! Most of it comes down to one thing though – something enticed me away from guarding my young.

I believe that I can get all caught up in the “Martha Stewart” side of keeping my home. I am doing a great job as a wife and mother if I keep the house clean, the laundry done, and the meals planned and cooked. Those things just listed make me a keeper of my house, but not a keeper of my home. I like a tidy house, but my greatest job description is not about a tidy house. My job is to be a guardian of my young!

This is the time for me to be sober to the cobwebs and dust that settles over the hearts of my children. This is the time for me to be alert to the ploys of Satan as he seeks to lure me with the sweet delicacies that he offers that are full of poison and will dull my senses. This is the time that I must be on guard to what will try to destroy the lives of my kids and what will try to slip in to replace what they were meant to be.

May God help and guide me to stay alert! This Momma Ant is on to the bootleg beetle!

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I Am Not Scared Now


A few days ago, we went through our typical bedtime routine. After pajama’s are on, teeth brushed, bedtime prayers and kisses are given, off they head to their beds. There is one little one I have who is always afraid of the slightest noises. “Mommy, can I crack my door?”, “Mommy, are you in your room?”, and “Mommy, did you hear that?” are common questions floating down the hallway in our house.

My husband has been finishing a building to put his personal office in outside of our house. This particular evening, he was out working late. As usual, all the kids were tucked in and heading to sleep…except one little unnamed child. I had went on to my bed to get comfy and I heard a light knock on my door. I said, “Who is it?” knowing all along which child it would be. She was weeping. I asked her to come in. “Mommy, for real, this time I hear lots of noises outside and I am SOOOO scared!!!” I grabbed her in my arms because she was shaking with fear. “Honey, don’t cry. You DO hear noises. It is Daddy. He is outside working on his office.”

She sat straight up, dried her tears, and said, “You mean Daddy is outside tonight?” “Yes”, I said. What she said next burnt deep into my soul. She said, “If Daddy is outside, then I am not afraid anymore.” She kissed me and went straight to sleep.

I immediately bowed my head and prayed that God would help me to make Him that real to my children. My precious, fearful daughter (much like her mother at times) was so afraid. The realization that her strong and brave Daddy, whom she adores, was keeping the night watch while she slept, comforted her soul and brought her peace. I want her to know, as she grows in her faith, that her Heavenly Father is watching over her and keeping her in His hands. It is a lesson that I need to remember!

Since that night, I have thought often of this story in our home. It brings a deep gratefulness to my heart and a prayer to my lips. “My Heavenly Father, I know You are watching out for me. I am not scared anymore.”