“You’re Not Being Nice!”

Occasionally when my Jackson (5) gets upset with me, he will say, with furrowed eyebrows, “Mommy, you’re not being NICE!” Well, that swiftly piles extra punishment on him!

One day after he said that, I thought, Am I being nice?

Of course, he was mad because he had not been allowed to do something, or had something taken away, or had simply been told to be quiet. I don’t remember the offense, but I felt very convicted as I realized that the way I handled him really wasn’t nice.

That led me to a verse I consistently use with others, but I seem to forget that they apply with my children as well!

“Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another” (Ephesians 4:32).

I try to practice kindness to everyone around me. My fellow church members, piano students, friends. But I so often overlook my own family.

The word kind here means “mild or pleasant”. Is my manner with my children mild and pleasant? Sometimes it is, but I often forget that they are little people. And all people have feelings. I can be rude, or brush them off. But I am to be pleasant with them.

If my children could put it into words, would they say I am pleasant? I fear they would not. Ouch!

But who better to receive my kindness than my very own household? My own precious little ones should receive far more kindness than the cashier at Walmart. But I get comfortable and forget.

And let’s not forget our husbands. Who receives more kindness? Strangers, or our hubbies? Double ouch!

That one gets me!

I am so grouchy and grumpy with my husband sometimes! But I want to practice kindness on him! He deserves it more than the librarian!

There are many other Scriptures that give basic commands. We need to apply them in our family life. Verses about preferring one another, speaking kindness, practicing charity.

I don’t know about you, precious mommy, but when I’m up to my eyeballs in laundry, dishes, and meals, it’s easy to overlook my little people as what they are: people. They have feelings and their lives are being shaped and molded every day.

Let’s practice kindness on the most important people today: our families!

❤ Joy

good & useful {not perfection}

{This is a combining of two posts from my own blog. I pray someone finds some encouragement!}

So, Proverbs 31 is {mostly} all about that woman… you know the one.

 ~”The Proverbs 31 Woman”~

[we have not been very original with ‘naming’ her, have we? :)]

She is often tossed out as an unattainable super-woman. 

She is even labeled as a product of her time … not something today’s woman could ever hope to become.

I have studied these verses quite a bit… though I am not finished, and I have a series of posts about them on my own blog. Some thoughts kept reoccurring to me as I did this studying {I’m not finished with all of the verses}.

While I do understand that Solomon’s mother {Bathsheba!} is giving him advice on the type of wife he should seek, I also believe that even {if she were a real person}

~”The Proverbs 31 Woman”~

was not

~”The Proverbs 31 Woman”~

 from the very beginning…

She struggled and learned–to weave fabric and plant vineyards.

She desired to be good and useful–as a wife and mother and friend.

She was an immature girl with dreams–who grew up and matured!

She was a young married lady with lessons to learn–and she learned them.

She was a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend.

She was a sinner waiting on a Savior to be born.

She had struggles.

She knew hardship.

But what set her apart…

was her heart.

And so I wonder…

Does MY heart set me apart?

Some times, days just run together so that weeks become months before I even realize it.

Birthdays come and go.

Songs are sung.

School activities get attended.

Church services are sat through.

Laundry is washed {and occasionally put away}.

Dishes are cleaned.

Floors are vacuumed {amid the toys that are never put away}.

And then, I get up and look around and think:

“What in the world have I accomplished?”

Some times this truth is a conviction. What AM I doing for Christ?

And other times it is such a comfort…. I am {attempting to!} teaching my children to love and obey God and become responsible people, so that possibly they can effect a difference in the lives they come across--even while still children.

And that will last.

Some days, I freely admit, discipline and instruction are born out of frustration and not exactly done lovingly. Those days drive me to my knees so that other days become more peaceful, though not less hectic. {Sadly, many times it takes those frustrating days to remind me that I cannot do this wife and mother thing on my own!}

Remember, dear lady, no matter if you are a mother staying home to care for your children or a woman who must go out into the world to earn a wage {or a grandmother doing either of those, too!}, if you are being good and useful for Christ, your labor will not be in vain when the time comes to face the Lord.

{blessings} Tascha

The Couch-Bed

One recurring problem for me in raising my children is discipline. I do it, but it often feels too late, too frantic, and sometimes too harsh. I put off their bad behavior as long as I can “stand” it, then overreact. It’s never good. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one!

Then if my children disobey, or obey v.e.r.y slowly, it frustrates me to no end. {And it was really my fault to start with!}

Over, and over again, I realize that my children need me for more than to correct their fighting and bad attitudes. They need special time where Mommy is listening to them and is interested in their lives. They need to be treated like fellow human beings that have their own minds, their own desires, and their own fears. How do I feel if someone tells me I am wrong and never tells me I am right? Or even that they love me? I really don’t want to hear anything they have to say!

So, every little while, I try to make them feel special.

Last night, I actually had a moms’ night out with some other ladies, so I suggested to my husband that they get out the couch-bed and watch movies while I was away. It is one of my boys FAVORITE things ever! It is the grand treat for them! So, after they watched a few movies, they played “house”, and the underneath part of the couch was their bedrooms. It was adorable! And when I got home, I played with them in their “house.”

It means so much to our children to show that we care what is important to them! And it only takes a few minutes of our time.

Here’s to playing!

❤ Joy